I don’t know how many blogs I have floating around the internet. Far too many, I know that much. I abandoned this one over a year ago according to my last entry and I’m SO DAMN PISSED I let that happen. Even though my dearest Bryanna is the only one who ever really read it, I think it kept me on some sort of track, I really do. A lot has happened since that last entry (even the birth of another new blog which I am abandoning and going back to my most important baby, Less Please. BUT. I copied my only two posts from that blog and pasted them here. YOU’RE WELCOME.) some I am so ecstatic that they happened I’m still in shock that they happened to me and others nearly broke me.
In the past year I:
- Suddenly lost my aunt, someone who was as close as my mom to me
- (as a result of that) Became bulimic (which took me up until 3 months ago to finally admit that that’s what I was doing)
- Started dating one of my best friends (the guy who was a good friend for a year and I was MADLY IN LOVE with for all of that year but he never did anything until when night when he did)
- Quit running
- Kept purging and lost 15 pounds putting me at the lowest weight I’ve ever been and fitting into all of the clothes and I felt like I looked amazing (which is sick, I know)
- Moved away from my hometown and in with said boyfriend
- Gained those 15 pounds back (even though I haven’t quit purging)
- Need to quit purging (I’m struggling with getting professional help or dealing with it on my own)
- Completely gave up on myself
This past year has been one of the hardest years of my life. Even though I fell in love and am completely happy in my relationship I feel guilty for feeling good because the year I fell in love is shared with the year I lost someone so close to me I still can barely think about it without crying.
I’ve never been very good at writing these things. I feel forced and way too candid and way too…scripted. But, I’m back and I’m going to do my absolute best at sticking to it.
As seen below, I’ve done the craziest thing ever to try and get my ass back in gear. I’VE REGISTERED TO RUN AN ENTIRE 26.2 MILES IN ONE OF THE HILLIEST CITIES (AND MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE) IN THE WORLD. So, get ready for weekly weigh ins (even if it isn’t the number I want to see), my fitness endeavors, my marathon training, an insane amount of bitching because I am taking college science courses and hate my life (jk. about the life hating part), and me.
(Taken from my other blog)