That One Time I Murdered Something


I GOT A JUICER FOR CHRISTMAS. It was probably the most exciting gift I got (I also got my Garmin Forerunner 10, which is also really awesome. I’m happy.)

I’ve been experimenting with juices and I’m not that good yet. I’ll put a lot of veggies and fruits in but the end result will predominantly taste like one specific veggie or fruit. This green one, tasted only of celery.


3 celery stalks
1 green apple
1/2 lemon
1″ ginger root
1 cucumber

I’ll call this one Celery Juice.
My creativity is astounding.

Then, yesterday afternoon, I made this beautifully colored masterpiece that tasted delicious and made me the happiest girl in the whole entire radically republican city of Redding ever.

1 beet
3 carrots
1/2 lemon
1″ ginger root
1 orange

I’ll call this one Majestic Pink Lovin in a Glass.

And it was beautiful…



UNTIL I SPILLED IT EVERYWHERE AND IT LOOKED LIKE SOMEONE WAS MURDERED IN MY BED. Side note: Beet juice is a bitch to get out of carpet. And it’s really important to start scrubbing immediately. Even if the carpet is brown and from the 70’s.


At least my dented domestic abuse refrigerator left over from the previous tenants in my apartment fit in for a while..




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