Confessions on Marathon Monday

Today’s post will consist of another belated Marathon Monday because for some reason I refuse to get my crap together.

It will also consist of a confession that I am not proud of.

My name is Brittany and I am guilty of being extremely jealous of the success of other people.

I try really hard not to be. Really, I do. But, I can’t seem to make myself feel happy for other people when they are doing good with their weight loss or their running or their life in general. And I completely realize that this makes me a total bitch.

I can’t help but feel angry when I see other people who are so committed, but I can’t manage one day without a cookie. Especially since I used to be so on point with my eating and fitness.

I can’t help but feel jealous when I see other people who are so motivated, but I have panic attacks at anything over 3 miles and completely fall apart. Especially when a 10 minute mile used to be nothing for me.

I can’t help but feel like I hate every single thing in the world when other people fit into their cute clothes, but my 25 pound weight gain prohibits me from wearing nearly EVERYTHING in my closet. (and I have some cute things)

I shouldn’t even be putting these ‘confessions’ out there, because “Hello, I’m not nice.” But, I feel like I need to be honest with myself and, hey, at least I am aware of how bad these feelings are.

Most of these feelings are fueled by the fact that I’m seeing MILEY CYRUS IN CONCERT THIS SATURDAY IN VEGAS and I have nothing to wear and can’t stand the thought of buying clothes that will fit me ‘now’ as opposed to ‘then.’

But, of course, this all could be fixed by actually committing and actually motivating myself. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to get back into the health game.

Bleh.

This week’s schedule:

Monday: Recovery

Tuesday: Rest

Wednesday: 3 miles

Thursday: 30 min. Fartlek

Friday: 3 miles

Saturday: Rest (AND MILEY CYRUS)

Sunday: 6 miles

Now I’m going to go to bed. But, not before RSVPing to my pity party for one.

(Am I at least a little funny? Yes? No?)

I’m working on it, I swear.

How do you deal with that pesky thing called jealousy?

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